Grief is not about letting go—grief is about finding ways to continue the connection even as we live a different, now changed life. Understanding that is important.
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Continuing Bonds theory emphasizes the attachment to the deceased loved continues after the death. With Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, the trauma of the loss is reprocessed facilitating the linking in of adaptive information.
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Some aspects of continuing bonds include: Processing emotional difficulties that we are left with, or unresolved situations between us and the deceased. Being less overwhelmed by the painful sides of grief, or of traumatic information surrounding the death.
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Continuing bonds theory works towards normalizing a continuing relationship with loved ones even after they've died. It focuses on how we contend with sudden losses or extended and anticipated deaths of a loved one suffering from a terminal illness.
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Continuing Bonds (CBs) are defined as an ongoing inner relationship with the deceased (Klass et al., Citation 2014). CBs include attempts to keep memories alive through dialogue with others, engagement with possessions and photographs, and use of the deceased as a role model.
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In the 20 years after the term was introduced into bereavement studies, continuing bonds went from being dismissed and pathologized to being a fully recognized and accepted phenomenon in...
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This . . . book gives voice to an emerging consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th-century model holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new relationships in the present.
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Continuing bonds says that it's normal to stay connected with your loved one. Not only does CB validate that grief is ongoing, it supports the idea that we, as bereaved people, remain connected with our loved ones, often for our entire lives.
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In 1996 a new theory of how grief works was published, called Continuing bonds (Klass, Silverman and Nickman). Their theory is that rather than ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one and move on, the purpose of grief is to redefine your relationship with the person who has died and integrate them into your new life.
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In this study, we describe continuing bonds and grief reactions and assess their association in 980 parents bereaved in pregnancy, at or shortly after birth.
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